Jenny Wesley and The Author of Idiocity
by AriLivesnotDylan
Summary: An old english project I found while cleaning out my files. P.S. we were not aloud to use the word magic.


Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away…wait a minute wrong story! Okay um yeah it was in a faraway city known only as New York there once lived a beautiful young maiden, I mean um er lady yeah lady, named Jenny Wesly. She was a little short, ouch! I mean petite, lady with very fair, but beautiful skin and long flowing red hair (and when I say red I mean crayon red 'red').

Now Jenny (or Jen as I usually call…ouch! what?) lived in a small little apartment in Brooklyn (which in the time that this story takes is cleaned-up, which I think I weird since Jen told me to put the cliché fairy tale opener in this story which is blah blah blah okay enough babble back to the story!) which looked out on the skyline of Manhattan. Her apartment complex has a lot of interesting people such as the Weely twins Ted and Porge (the pracital jokers that violently refuse to grow up, and I mean violently like they set an old dying rat named Grabbers on fire!), Moonsy Likeswell (Jen..I mean Jenny's best friend and a writer for _Crazy Calendar_), and Harold Pot… I mean Eva...I mean Jameson (Yes! Only devoted Harry Potter fans will get that!) Jenny and Harry, I mean Harold, were good friends (even though Harold was soooo much more handsome, rich, and…ouch! Will you stop that woman!).

There was also Hermity Grasser an evil witchy person that used her know-it-all attitude instead of m… (No! I almost put down a taboo word! Wow lucky break there right? Right?) to make any opponent run away screaming insufferable no-no words at her. She lived with her idiot (and I mean seriously idiot, the only thing he can do besides eating thirty times as much as a regular human without become super fat is checkers) boyfriend Kahn (yeah his dad is obsessed with sci-fi) Wesly, Jenny's older brother.

One fateful (or unfateful depending on how sane you are) day Jenny heard the buzzer for her door go off. (I don't mean started yelling or screaming you weirdoes) When Jenny answered the door she saw Hermity poorly dressed up in a bad (I mean not well done not what you sickos were thinking) old lady costume.

"Hey Hermity why are you dressed up as an old lady?" Jenny asked because even though Hermity stalked Harold a lot (I mean she stalks him in a blacked out van all the time. _**"ALL THE TIME!"**_) she was dating her dip(…I mean dimwitted) brother her who loved his sister and was friends with Harold, or so they think.

"Oh…I'm not this Hermacky person you're talking about I'm your elfy-godmother, and here's an apple." Hermity (still poorly disguised) said giving Jenny an apple.

"Um..thanks?"

"Goodbye non-elfy-goddaughter." Hermity called out as she skipped out of site (and into the next scene too early and almost vanished into nothingness) while Jenny went inside and ate the apple. Unbeknownst to her the vile (not an elf or pixie) Hermity had poisoned the apple to make Jenny so carefree and lucid that she would fall to her death (yeah that plan had no holes in it what-so-ever)

That night before the charming and oh so... (Ow! What was that for!) Harold got back home Jenny went crazy and jump out her window only to fall in the mud because it had rained and it was really only the opened lobby window that she had jumped. She was then found by seven well trained wizards (that got themselves stuck as ocelots forever after a botched elixir that was supposed to give them either eternal life or knife hands cause knife hands are cool) that took her with them to their cave that was their home (because ocelots can't live in apartments, duh.) and raised her back to health, but one day Hermity came to kill Jenny because she hated her for outsmarting her plan. (and because she was sad and bored because Kahn decided to play in the street again, and died from a heart attack.) When she finds her she raises her knife to kill, but (since the ocelot wizards were already deciding whether or not to eat Jenny because they were hungrier than an Ethiopia child) the ocelot wizards pounced on her and ripping her to shreds. Harold had heard and saw the commotion from the sidewalk right in front of the random cave. The ocelots then melded their spirit into a talking tree and told Harold to pour water on the sleeping Jenny because it would be funny. Harold did as told, but Jenny had woken a few minutes before and when Harold poured the water her he saw that it wasn't water but it was a sleeping potion (That their college science professor, Tearerus Snake, had instructed them to make for their advanced theoretical potion science class) (or A.T.P.S.).

Harold was worried about what to do so the tree said,

"You need to snog her for about an hour to wake her up."

"No! I can't because I can't hold my breath for very long, and….because I suck at kissing because my super fat aunt, uncle, and cousin made it their job to make me the most angsty, socially awkward person ever!" Harold said then started to sob into a random pillow.

"Harold! You are the hero of this story! So stop being a wuss and kiss the girl!" said Sebastian from _The Little Mermaid_.

Harold then (using his power the insane author of this stupid story granted him) snog Jenny for about one hour while Hermity's ghost went in search to find a certain bathroom in a certain school haunted by a ghost named Myrtle.

The End.


End file.
